And one day, Root exploded
by starburst27
Summary: An accurate documentary on what events occured in chute E37 on the fateful day that Julius Root was 'sploded.
1. Chapter 1

**This is what REALLY happened in The Opal Deception when Root di...diii...guuuggghh...dii...didii...diee...diie...deeeeehh(choking noises)**

**I think you get the point. When he erm...temporaily blew up **

* * *

Root le gasped. 

"le gasp! I gots a bomb thing on me! D'awww! Oooo! It's flashy!" He observed. Holly smacked herself in the face.

"Commander, Can we concentrate on making sure you don't die?" She begged. Root stuck his tongue out.

"mleh!!!! You're just a stupid girl! Stupid girl!"

Holly sighed. Ever since the tuna incident Root had been prone to random moments of stupidity. Damn that Tuna incident.

Damn that tuna incident...

"Hee hee! Lookie Holly! Booze!" He exclaimed, pointing to some random booze next to him. Holly gasped as root began to drink it.

"**NO! DON'T DRINK THAT!"** she screamed, remembering the avacado incident. That had been a disator. Briar was never the same after that...

"WEEEE!" Root squeeled, running around in circles and flapping his arms like an idiot.

"Oh great. You're stupid and drunk! And tied to a bomb! I don't know what to do with you! Do you see what you put me through Opal?"

Opal snarled.

"What? I didn't put the booze their! It's not mine." She said. Holly crossed her arms.

"I don't care whos booze it was. The point is that It was there." Holly said, wagging a finger at Opal. Opal looked down at the ground.

"_I'm sorry..._" she mumbled.

"Go stand in the corner!" Holly ordered. Opal broke down into tears and stood in the corner. Holly crossed her arms and turned to Root whom was currently talking with the wall.

"Oh yes yes I know what you mean" said the wall, which wasn't the wall at all but was actually Root mumbling out of the corner of his mouth.

"Root! Are you talking to the wall again?" Holly asked. Root whipped his head around and looked at her.

"MAYBE!" he cried/screamed. Holly glared.

"How many times have I told you not to talk to strange walls?!" Holly lectured. The commander's eyes filled with tears.

"I dunno..." he muttered.

"GO STAND IN THE CORNER!" She yelled.

"BUT OPALS IN THE CORNER!" he cried, pointing at Opal.

"Then stand in a different corner!"

Root stood in a different corner.

"And about YOU mr wall!" Holly said, pointing at Mr wall.

Mr wall sobbed and stood in the corner. Holly stood in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips. She looked like a strict mother.

"I want you all to think about what you've done!" Holly said angrily.

They all did.


	2. spoof number 2

**OH NOES! I'M WRITING A SECOND CHAPTER!**

**Basically, this is how it's gonna go:**

**I'm gonna write multiple versions of Roots temporairy explosion and post them as chapters for this fic.**

**Here I go.  
**

* * *

Root screamed. 

"I HAS AN OCTO THING ON MEH!" Root screamed.

"YOU HAS AN OCTO THING ON CHOO!" Holly screamed.

"AHHHHHHHH!" They both screamed at the same time.

root exploded.

Opal laughed.

Holly cried.

**  
**


	3. spoof number 3

_**WHOOSH!**_

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a grumbly elf named Julius Root! 

He was SO grumbly, that one day , the happiness faerie payed him a visit.

"Root, you're to grumbly for this world! So I'm gonna blow you up!"

"But wait! Aren't you the happiness faerie!? Can't you just make me happy?!" Root questioned. The happiness faerie laughed.

"No. I'm making other people happy by doing this. Now shut up" said the happiness faerie, and he blew up Julius Root.

Strangely enough, Holly Short was watching all this.

"YOU MURDERER!" she screamed, "I'M TELLING!"

And then she ran through the Red Lobster carrying the Happiness Faerie and screaming murder. Strangely enough, the Happiness faerie was Opal Koboi's twin brother and they looked completely identical.

Because of this, Opal Koboi was thrown in jail and blamed for killing Julius Root.


	4. spoof number 4

**_OH EM GEE!11!!11_**

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sO liek once apon a tiem there wuz a elf named root! an he wuz liek...totally angreeeee!

sO 1 dai his angir built up sooooo much that he liek exploded!

...

Yeah so anyways...

Once upon a time there was an elf named Julius Root. Julius was an angry elf who wanted nothing out of life but women.

One fine day, he met a woman named Opal and he began to go out with her.

"Oh Opal! Your eyes are oh so beautiful!"

Opal smiled but then frowned.

"Wait...you're alreayd married to Holly Short aren't you?" she asked. Root chuckled.

"Why yes, yes I am"

"You CAD!" She screamed and she promptly blew him up with an octobomb.

The end.

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End file.
